


Guilt

by sheafrotherdon



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-19
Updated: 2006-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during <em>Progeny</em> - a thought on Rodney's torture.  Sheppard and McKay's dialogue comes directly from the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

He's used to guilt - to the insidious pull of _my fault, my fault_ behind his sternum, to the voice he's been trying to quiet since he was seven or eight; to the fear of air and space leaching away - _my fault, my fault_ \- to expose the blame that fuels his claustrophobia. He's learned tactics to deflect and distract; to ignore, as best he can, the venomous curl of culpability that slides through his belly. Bluster and sarcasm; vicious irritation; devotion to his job – he can dim the rhythmic press of words he'd rather not hear, but never silence them completely.

 _my fault, my fault_

The Replicators find it in an instant, power it to spread through his body, pressing responsibility like poison into every cell until he's screaming in some dark, remote corner of his mind where no one can hear him and no one can make it stop.

"What they do to you?" Sheppard asks.

"Torture," he replies, the sharp, unforgiving truth of it just beneath his skin. "In ways too hideous and intimate to recount."


End file.
